You Almost Loved Me
by MadDelight
Summary: "Are you in love with House?" Cuddy glances sideways at Cameron, trying to gauge her reaction. Cameron shrugs, pushing a fallen strand of blonde hair back behind her ear. "It's always been House." Set during Season 5, Episode 21 "Saviors"
1. Chapter 1

**Rating T+, maybe slight M**

 **Notes: Yes, this ship and fandom has been dead for nearly a decade. No I don't expect anyone to read or review this. But I've been depressed on the couch and rewatching the series and for me it was always Hameron.**

 **Synopsis since the show has been long off the air:**

 **Season 5x21, Saviors: Cameron owes a favor to a doctor from another hospital and takes the case of an environmental "nut". She postpones her vacation with Chase to work on the case with House- who questions her ulterior motives for spending time with him and avoiding Chase. Episode set a week after Kutner's suicide.**

 **This fic takes liberties with the House/Cameron moments, obviously. Well, hopefully someone will read and enjoy.**

 **Chapter One: The Puzzle**

* * *

She's sick of everyone questioning her motives about sticking around the diagnostics department, or rather, sticking around House. She sighs but supposes she deserves it.

'Gossip circulates around this hospital faster then patients get cured.' Cameron thinks to herself as she nears House in the hallway and falls into step next to him.

"No sight of heart or arterial problems but he's been hiccupping on and off for over a week." Cameron informs House.

"Nice. I'm hooked." He tosses back sarcastically. "You can get back to your shift at the ER. Except, as far as the ER is concerned, you're on vacation, right?" He glances over at her, still unable to figure out her motives for working on this case with him. Well, for him. It's her case, not his or his team's as far as he's concerned.

Cameron rolls her eyes. This is exactly what's been irking her. "I postponed a trip because I'm concerned about the patient."

"Yeah, totally explains why you ditched Chase and came to differentials." He couldn't possibly lay on the sarcasm any thicker, not believing her for a moment. "But not why you ran the tests."

Cameron sighs. There's no dancing around this conversation so they might as well have it. "You told me to."

They stop right outside the door to the diagnostics room. "Well, I'm not your boss, as you usually take great pleasure in pointing out."

House wants to see how far he can push her. She's playing a game with him, he might as well volley back and see if he can figure out her true intentions.

"Hey, you don't still have the hots for me, do you?" House meets Cameron's eyes, trying to provoke her. He watches, bemused as Cameron pauses, blushing from his remark.

Her mouth falls open; she can feel the heat rush to her cheeks. It takes her a moment to recover. " I-I care about the patient and I care about the people who work on your team. They've been through a lot lately. I just thought I —"

House interrupts, not convinced. She didn't deny it and was definitely deflecting. "Was Florence Nightingale. Yeah, yeah. You're gonna nurse us back to spiritual and mental oneness. That would make sense if we were having this conversation a week ago." He meets her eyes, questioningly. He's going to figure out this puzzle and it's going to be now.

Cameron leans forward, invading his personal space. "Think what you want — that I'm here to get a job, that I'm here to wrap you in swaddling clothes." Despite regaining her composure her heart keeps pounding rapidly in her chest. It doesn't help when House leans forward, causing their faces to be scant centimeters apart. He's close enough that when he utters his next sentence she can feel his warm breath ghost over her lips.

House lowers his voice. He's trying to get a rise out of her- provoke a response- anger, denial, anything. He hadn't expected lust or arousal to reflect back at him in her green eyes.

So, because he's House, he pushes that last little bit, as far as he can possibly go. "The problem is, I think neither. Because neither makes sense. The only thing that does… doesn't."

The intense stare between them lingers. He closes the gap between them, kissing her roughly; he doesn't miss the tiny gasp that passes her lips as he slides his hand under her lab coat to the small of her back and pulls her even closer. He expects her to push him back, to slap him, anything other then responding to his kiss with equal intensity. She runs her tongue across his bottom lip and he allows her access, sliding his tongue against hers in a duel for dominance.

Cameron's surprised when House emits a low groan of approval as she nips at his bottom lip. All rational thought and caution is thrown to the wind- she's not going to stop until they need to break for air. That is, until she feels his hand slide lower and grab her ass. Typical House.

She pulls back, panting, cheeks flushed. "What the hell was that?"

He smirks. "Just solving the puzzle. Turns out I was right. You're as predictable as you seem."

She shoves him back. "This isn't some game." Now she's angry; green eyes glaring up at him.

"Really? Could've fooled me."

He enters the conference room before her as she straightens out her coat and fixes her hair. 'Goddamn him.' Cameron curses to herself, meeting the stares of three shocked fellows. 'Well, guess this blush is going to be permanent for a while.' Her head is still spinning and she tries to get it together. Of course, House's team has other plans.

"What the hell was that?" Taub asks, glancing between Cameron and House.

"Not pertinent to the case."

"None of your business."

Cameron and House's answers overlap.

"Pathological hiccups plus inability to balance. Go." Cameron tries to bring their focus back to the case to no avail.

Thirteen is smirking. Taub is still baffled and Foreman just seems outraged.

Before the bombardment of questions can pass through his team's lips House takes over. "What she said."

"We're just supposed to…" Taub starts before House can cut him off.

"Focus on the case, yeah." House counters. The puzzle is solved. The game is over- set, match. He's won so he's going to push forward like nothing's happened, because nothing _has_ happened except for him proving his theory.

Thirteen is the first to rebound from the shock of previous incidents. "Brain would connect the two."

"It could, if Cameron hadn't already CT'd his head." House counters, waiting for a better idea.

Cameron's head has finally stopped spinning enough that she can jump back into the differential. "Patient is on a Jihad against commercial flowers. He's picketed several nurseries. Organophosphate poisoning can cause both hiccups and —"

Foreman glares in her direction. "No GI problems. No hyper-salivation."

Taub clears his throat, ready to chime in. "It's possible it's not connected to a protest. MS wouldn't show on the CT and his name's Swenson. Scandinavians have an increased susceptibility to MS."

House ponders this for a second. He nods. "Better theory than he's faking it. The clogs have it. Do a lumbar puncture to confirm MS."

The room falls quiet. Cameron and House stare at one another. The other three doctors look between them.

"Well, what're you waiting for? Go do the puncture." House gestures for his team to leave.

"How are we supposed to do a lumbar puncture on a patient with intractable hiccups?" Taub asks.

House rolls his eyes. "Find a way."

Foreman waits for Thirteen and Taub to leave. He turns to Cameron. "You better figure out what you're doing before word of this spreads through the hospital. Talk to Chase."

"Yeah, I'll take that to heart." Cameron replies, irritated that everyone feels the need to chime in on her personal life.

Foreman shoots her one last warning glance before heading out of the room.


	2. Chapter 2

**Readers/Reviews: I'm super shocked this story has either! Thank you so much for encouraging me to keep writing. Bless your souls! Glad this ship is still sailing.**

 **House MD, I don't own it.**

 **Rating: T/M, a tiny bit more M in this chapter, briefly.**

 **Chapter Two: No One Should Love House**

The silence between them hangs heavily in the air. Cameron isn't sure what to do. Deny her feelings? Admit them? She had long ago buried them deep enough that she had deluded herself into thinking she wasn't in love with House. Now, she feels like that silly smitten young woman she'd been five years ago, her head spinning with ideas of her and House together. It's irrational and stupid and illogical but above all else it's tempting. It brings her long denied feelings to the front of her mind and she isn't sure she can ignore them anymore.

The glass diagnostics table makes them seem so far apart. It's easier for him to deny the elephant in the room that way. He kissed her first, just to solve the puzzle, of course that was the only reason. Then why hadn't he stopped it? Where's the scathing quip that should be on the tip of his tongue? Where's the dismissal of her school-girl crush?

Unfortunately, his every thought keeps circling back to kissing her again. Maybe it's because he hasn't gotten any in a while. Maybe it's because Cuddy and his relationship fizzled out before it could even get started, or maybe it's because there has always been an innate connection between them. The lingering looks, the brief touches, the way she keeps circling back to his department no matter how many times she insists that she doesn't miss him.

Cameron stops right in front of House, close enough that she can just pull him down and continue what they started in the hall.

"What're you doing?" House asks; his voice less harsh then he'd hoped. This isn't supposed to be happening. He doesn't have any feelings for Cameron and he certainly shouldn't be encouraging hers. But he can't look away; her gaze is intense and her closeness, inviting.

"Shut up, House." Cameron orders before wrapping her arms around his neck and crashing her lips against his. She's surprised he doesn't resist like he'd done what felt like eons ago. His lips just as eagerly devour hers and it's enticing and incredibly pleasurable. Cameron slides her hands down to rest on his chest, feeling the warmth from his body radiate through his shirt. Is he as turned on as she is? Or just playing another game?

His cane falls to the floor as he finally takes advantage of the situation. One hand grips Cameron's hip, pulling her closer. He doesn't miss the gasp that escapes her lips and it elicits a groan of his own. His other hand slides up her side and House finds himself wishing that there weren't so many layers of clothing between his hand and her skin.

Cameron's having trouble standing completely still, finding herself wanting to grind against him like a horny teenager. It doesn't help when his lips and teeth start attacking her neck eagerly and she doesn't even attempt to hold back her moans. He's driving her crazy, every nerve feels like it's on fire and she can't steady her breathing; she's lost all hope of self restraint; it becomes increasingly difficult to stand still when she can feel his arousal press against her thigh through the rough fabric of his jeans and then… He reaches up and squeezes her breast. She swats his hand away, finally pulling back to catch her breath.

He gives her the most salacious grin and shrugs. "Can't blame a man for trying. Besides, if you let me feel you up maybe I'll finally stop teasing you about the size of them." He winks. She's riled up his hormones like a teenage boy so he needs to deflect before anything resembling "real" feelings can pass between them. Sex he can handle, that's simple, no strings no complications, but declarations of _feelings_ well, he shudders at the thought.

"So, you do still have the hots for me." He states obviously as he reaches down to pick up his cane. "Makes sense why you kept denying that you missed me or wanted a job. You just want my hot bod." He winks at her.

"House." She admonishes, still trying to slow her breathing and collect her thoughts. She's definitely wanted that for a long time, no denying that now.

" _Cameron_." He mocks, rolling his eyes. "There's really no use denying it. Act like a grown up."

"You're one to talk." She counters, finally regaining rational thought. She wants to say something; Ask him what's going on. Ask him if he has the hots for her, although that wouldn't exactly be her wording.

"We certainly gave the hospital quite a show." House gestures out the glass wall of the diagnostic room.

"Fuck." Cameron swears under her breath. She'd forgotten that every damn wall of his office is glass.

"Well, that certainly seemed like the idea. But not at work." House teases, feeling at ease and back in control of the situation.

Cameron rolls her eyes, of course he'd be like this; she really shouldn't have expected any less. "I've got to go talk to Chase."

"And tell him what? That I jumped you? That you're still in _love_ with me? That we're going to go back to my place and have hot monkey sex? Actually that last one doesn't sound like such a bad idea…" He muses, a mischievous glint in his eyes. Of course he doesn't mean it, but might as well mess with her while he still has the chance.

"Shut up, House." She shoots back, clearly irritated. "And don't even think about telling Wilson."

"Wouldn't dream of it."

She glares at him before hurrying out of his office.

* * *

Cameron stands at the central desk in the ER; she's flipping through paperwork and signing off on it. Anything to keep her mind busy at this point.

Cuddy approaches Cameron and sets a stack of files down next to hers. "You do know what vacation means, right?" She glances in Cameron's direction.

Cameron curses under her breath and steels herself for the impending conversation. "You're either here because of House, Chase, or overtime issues. And I think I know which one."

Cuddy is taken aback by Cameron's tone. "Chase is very concerned."

"Well, if it's alright with you, I'd rather communicate with Chase by communicating with Chase." Cameron shuts the file she's working on and turns to Cuddy. "This hospital needs to stop being a living soap opera and keep it's nose out of my personal life."

Cuddy pauses. "Are you in love with House?"

Cameron laughs humorlessly. "You are not concerned about me. You're marking your territory."

Cuddy stutters before resuming. "Y-You shouldn't be involved with House. Neither should I. Neither should anyone." Cuddy turns to meet Cameron's glare. "So you do love him?" She accuses.

Cameron shrugs, tucking a fallen strand of blonde hair behind her ear. "It's always been House." She states bluntly before walking away in a huff.

* * *

Cameron escapes to the nearly empty cafeteria where she stirs a cup of coffee listlessly.

Chase sweeps in, seeming irritated, sitting down with a loud sigh. "I've been looking for you." Despite his irritation he does seem concerned for her.

Cameron glances up, lying through her teeth. "And… I've been thinking about you. Just hadn't reached the looking stage yet."

Chase shakes his head. He seems to have lost all faith in approaching the subject calmly. "Which is the problem. You asked for a day. I gave you two. I don't know what's worse — blowing off our vacation to hang around House or continuing to blow it off when he won't hang around you?"

Cameron takes deep breath, readying herself for Chase's reaction. "House kissed me."

Chase's eyes widen and he starts to get out of his seat. "Where is he? I'll kill him."

She expected this. Cameron places a hand over his,gently. "I kissed him back."

Chase sinks back down into his chair. "Oh." He tries to hide the hurt with anger, but can't before Cameron notices the look in his eyes; it's a familiar one, brought on whenever she's mentioned House; he looks like a kicked puppy forced to sit out in the rain.

"I'm sorry I-" Before Cameron can even hope to begin an apology Chase cuts her off.

"How long?" He looks at her seriously, anger bubbling beneath the surface.

"…How long?" She repeats, confused.

He sighs, looking her square in the eye. "How long have you been cheating on me with House?"

She's taken aback to say the least, not expecting him to jump to this conclusion. She expected Chase to shout, to storm off, but not to assume instantly that she'd been sleeping with House all along. Then again he had recently jumped to the conclusion that she'd slept with her former boss and gotten and STD from him.

"I-I haven't been cheating on you with House." She curses the waver in her voice.

"Right." Chase shoots back in disbelief.

"I haven't been cheating on you with House!" Cameron asserts, fed up with everyone's assumptions of her.

"Yeah, well, I guess now you have." Chase mutters, standing to leave. "Let me know when I can come pick up my things."

Cameron sighs and buries her head in her hands.

 **Author's note: I wasn't planning on writing an entire chapter where House and Cameron fool around second base-like. I was also planning on getting this chapter done much sooner.**

 **Chase was sort of a dick in the episode so I just went with how the writer's already portrayed his insecurities.**

 **Let me know how i did with keeping House and Cameron in character. That's my biggest concern.**

 **Two chapters left, containing humor, smut, and angst- also an alternate ending. What could be better!**

 **Thanks. R &R. **


	3. Chapter 3

**You Almost Loved Me**

 **Chapter Three: One Drawer Too Many**

 **Readers: I've got the itch. I've been devouring Hameron fan fiction like mad and just want to keep writing! I realize I want to go back and fix some things in the last chapter- a few stylistic errors and the line breaks are missing to separate scenes and moments in time- sorry about that but I hope it was still enjoyable.**

 **I just rewatched Saviors again to make sure I was getting all the emotional subtleties and when House confronts Cameron about why she's still hanging around in the ER I SWEAR that he seems truly disappointed that she doesn't want him; their tension and relationship dynamic is always so greatly played.**

 **Okay, well enough rambling. Thanks for the encouragement and might be three chapters left!**

 **The Next Day...**

House had benched Cameron from the case of the environmental nut and put his "first string" team on it; they still had nothing but it worked in getting both Cameron and his team out of his hair long enough to go talk to Wilson. What? It's not like he _ever_ kept a promise. Why start now?

Wilson's door is cracked and House uses his cane to push it the rest of the way open. "Guess who's getting laid tonight?"

Wilson glances up from the case file he's skimming through and looks up at House, utterly confused. He shrugs. "I'm assuming you've come to tell me, so why should I bother guessing incorrectly."

"You we're _so_ wrong yesterday. Cameron isn't happy in the ER and she isn't happy with Chase." House is gloating, feeling like he's finally regained his mojo.

"You have no idea of knowing that, unless…" Wilson's eyes widen. "She kissed you?"

"Well, technically I kissed her and then she reciprocated." House grins.

"No." Wilson shakes his head in disbelief. "Wow. This is... wow. But should you really be messing with Cameron's love life? It's not like you're interested in her. Wait, are you interested in her?" Wilson pries.

House shrugs. "I'm interest that she's still interested and I've totally always wanted to tap that." He feels like a devious little kid; toying with Cameron has always been fun and she's wrapped around his finger again.

"House," Wilson begins to reprimand his friend. "Don't mess with Cameron's feelings just because you can." He sighs as House mimics shooting the air with his cane like a machine gun. "This is falling on deaf ears, isn't it?"

"Totally getting laid." House can't wipe the grin off his face and gleefully leaves Wilson's office. He's still got a case to solve before he can continue seducing Cameron- just for fun.

* * *

As House ambles down the hallway his team catches up to him, falling in step.

"The patient was screaming in agony." Foreman informs.

"Well, either you messed up the test for vascular pulsations or he's a big wuss." House retorts.

"We ruled out tumors or an aneurism and his bone density is normal." Thirteen informs him.

"Hm, so we can rule out metabolic bone disease." House muses, gears turning in his mind.

"The bone covering might not be normal." Taub supplies. "If it's osteomyelitis, an infection eating away at his periosteum-"

"That explains the pain. Odds are it's a subclinical infection that we made worse with the steroids. Start him on IV antibiotics and X-ray his legs to confirm osteomyelitis."

Thirteen rolls her eyes. "You already made Cameron do a full set of lower-body X-rays."

House turns to her. 'Idiots.' He thinks.

"The infection obviously flared. Do them again." He orders before pushing the elevator button to go down.

"Where are you going?" Taub questions.

"To sweep a flaxen-haired maiden off her feet." House winks, stepping into the elevator and heading down to the ER.

* * *

She shouldn't be moping. It's her fault Chase broke up with her. She especially shouldn't be moping in the ER where anyone can, and probably will, pester her about her love life. Cameron looks up from the file she's pretending to read when she hears the familiar thump of a cane followed by the squeak of gym shoes. Speaking of someone bothering her…

She sighs. "What do you want, House?"

He stops on the other side of the main ER desk. "You and Chase are over." It's a statement not a question.

"We-…" Cameron begins to respond when House interrupts her.

"You decided that his single drawer of clothes is one drawer too many. But you didn't have the guts to tell him. So… You're emotionally walking away instead of actually walking away. Which is stupid 'cuz only one of those is good for your heart." House supposes. It makes way more sense then the fact that she has been holding a torch for him all this time; he doesn't think she's that naive anymore.

Cameron avoids House's eyes. "That would've made sense. If he hadn't broken up with me yesterday." There's a long pause before she continues. "I told him we kissed."

House glances up at her. "Oh."

Cameron fiddles with the file in front of her. "Yeah."

Their eyes briefly meet and her's search his questioningly, hoping for any sign of feelings. He doesn't look away immediately. He almost seems guilty. Cameron hadn't expected that- gloating she'd expected, lewd comments, but actual guilt? It surprises her to say the least.

House looks away first. "Oh."

Cameron lets out the breath she realizes she's been holding. "Yeah." It's all she can manage to say at this point. They're both a little speechless, neither one of them wanting to delve deeper into the topic.

Their eyes meet again but his walls are back up- betraying nothing and she can feel her stomach flip, bile rising in her throat. She's been so foolish- thinking House could feel anything for her but lust, or think anything of her other than a good lay. She needs to get away before he can read her like an open book; she can't take the degrading comments, but she's frozen in place, wanting him to say something- anything.

"You wanted Chase to break up with you." He states. It's an obvious conclusion.

Cameron shakes her head. "No."

House rolls his eyes, pursuing the line of conversation. "It was easier to avoid him. To keep bringing me cases. To hang around my department. Easier then facing your own feelings and the inevitable." She seems hurt, but had she really expected him to be anything other then blunt?

"You're wrong." She replies softly, but there's no anger in her voice. There's only defeat.

"Chase was the safe choice, the easy choice." House presses on. "You knew I was never going to love you back, not the way you loved me. So you insisted that you didn't like me anymore. You pushed it to the back of your mind and distracted yourself with Chase. You never really loved him." House knows he's being forward and crass, but that's just the way he is- people don't change.

"What do you want me to say, House?" Cameron is raising her voice in frustration and the doctors around them start glancing in their direction. "That you're right? That I've always been in love with you? Is that what you want?" She feels so emotionally drained. The past two days have taken a toll on her and she's done playing nice as House chips away at her carefully constructed resolve. Screw it.

Cameron throws up her hands. "If that's what you want, fine! I've always been in love with you. Happy?" She shouts. She's breathing heavily, her cheeks are flushed, and she slowly realizes that everyone is staring at them. She leans over the desk, lowers her voice, and glares at him. "What are you going to do about it?"

House meets her stare and says nothing; he turns and walks away.

Cameron takes a shaky breath and fights tears, rushing to the safety of her office before they can fall.

* * *

He'd finally solved the case- the guy had sporotrichosis. He'd gotten the infection from the thorn of a rose. Idiot tried to fix his marriage by throwing away all his principles and buying flowers- a cheap marital aid. Of course the nut isn't going to change and his marriage will continue to suck. All marriages suck because everybody lies. Two constants in every case.

At least the case kept him busy, now that it's over he needs to get out of the hospital before Cameron can find him and yell at him some more. Or he'll probably make her cry or some other emotional thing that he doesn't want to deal with after a long day of idiocy from his team and his patient. He doesn't want to admit that he'd fucked up by kissing Cameron, but he'd definitely fucked up- not like he can change that now but he doesn't exactly feel like apologizing either. All these unnecessary emotions are getting to him. Nothing a night of music and scotch can't fix.

House sighs and enters his office, starting to pack up his things. He wonders if he should go talk to Wilson again about what to do. Wilson will likely just tell him to apologize, which he should, but he won't. It shouldn't be this hard and he shouldn't care that he's hurt Cameron's feelings; he's done it hundreds of times. So then, why does he care? Yeah, avoiding her for the rest of his life currently seems like the best option.

* * *

Thankfully, Cameron makes it to the end of the day without seeing House again. It's not like she can avoid him forever but she doesn't feel like dealing with him again, not now. She doesn't want to get angry, or cry, or yell, and he's likely to cause all of those emotions.

She sighs, heading to the locker room to gather her things. Of course there's Chase, putting on his shoes and grabbing his stuff.

She can't avoid Chase forever either. "Hey." She breathes, exhausted.

He doesn't even look up. "Hey."

"I'm sorry." She doesn't know what else to say. It won't fix anything but it needs to be said.

Chase sighs and looks up at her finally. "What do you want me to do? Forgive you? What exactly do you expect me to say?"

Cameron shakes her head, cursing the tears that start falling. "I don't expect you to say anything. I just couldn't leave without saying something."

Chase nods and reaches into the bottom of his locker. "Found some more of your stuff." He hands Cameron a shoe box and steps back, being as detached as he can. "I was going to propose."

Cameron wipes at her eyes and shock and confusion flicker over her features. "What?"

"On our vacation, the one I spent a week planning, I was going to propose." Chase sighs and shakes his head. "Good thing I found out how you really felt before we could get a divorce."

Cameron can't hold back her sobs. She'd never meant to hurt him, but he's right, better now then later.

Chase places a hand on her arm gently. "I'll see you."

* * *

A bluesy piano melody drifts out of House's apartment. He's sitting at the piano, eyes closed, swaying a bit to the melody. There's a half-empty glass of scotch sitting on top of the piano. Music is good therapy, it keeps his mind busy. He pauses to take a swig of his drink before gliding his hands over the keys and resuming the song.

Cameron stands outside of the door, listening for a few minutes. The music is soothing but her heart is hammering in her chest. She knocks, no answer. She figures he can't hear her over the piano. It's pointless knocking again, so she tries the handle. The door opens and tentatively she steps inside, closing the door behind her.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter Four: It's Always Been You**

 **Notes:** **I think this is going probably the hardest chapter to keep House is character. Hopefully I'll do alright. This is technically the final chapter but I'm writing an alternate ending too, because you all seem to want more action- but honestly I think the story would be more likely to go this way if it had actually occurred in the episode.**

 **If you'd rather just skip to the "action" and yes I mean the double entendre, then I'd move on to chapter 5, (once I post it tomorrow) Sorry innerurge1 no hot sex yet ;P**

 **Also look out for my next fic set during "All In" you know the one with the "little red dress". I'm pretty sure it'll just be titled "All In".**

 **Cool, well thanks for sticking with me through this journey! I've loved the support!**

* * *

For a moment House is too focused on the music to notice her. But she clears her throat and he looks up. It's clear she's been crying. He isn't sure what to say. She stands near the door awkwardly and he doesn't make a move to get up.

He polishes off the rest of his drink before attempting conversation. "Crying over centrifuges again?" The joke is a weak attempt at breaking the tension, but she still smiles.

"No." Cameron shakes her head, stepping further into House's apartment.

"You're not here to yell at me again are you? Because I might need a refill then." He holds up his empty glass and gestures towards the bottle on the coffee table.

Cameron walks forward and brings him the bottle, pouring a generous amount of the amber liquid into his glass. Her hand lightly brushes against his as she hands back his drink.

"I don't know why I'm here." Cameron admits, sitting down on his couch.

"Please, make yourself at home." He's trying to be sarcastic, but the offer almost sounds genuine.

"Want a drink?" House offers awkwardly. He's not exactly used to being a good host.

She shakes her head. "I'm alright, thank-you."

He clears his throat. "Sure."

There's a long pause between them- a heavy awkward silence. He doesn't know what to say; she came to him. The ball isn't exactly in his court.

Cameron glances in his direction; their eyes meet briefly; she decides it's now or never.

"Chase was going to propose." She says quietly, tears beginning to fall despite wishing that she could stop losing her composure, especially in front of House.

"Going to blame me for ruining your relationship with Chase?" His brow quirks; he expects her to. She doesn't respond right away.

She shakes her head 'no', but still looks crestfallen and House has no idea what to say; he's not exactly the comforting type.

"You feel guilty for kissing me." She states.

So, it's going to be one of _those_ talks- one where she tells him how he feels and why he acts the way he does. Isn't that _so_ three years ago? Where's his strong, snarky Cameron? The one that can stick up to him and play his games. Did he really do that much damage with a few make-out sessions? He polishes off his third drink and avoids eye-contact.

"Why?" Cameron presses. It's not a hopeful or prying question. It's a question that solidly demands an answer.

"Brief lapse in judgement." He shrugs; not entirely certain if he's referring to the guilt or the kiss itself.

"Don't do that." She's frustrated with him. "Don't deflect with sarcasm."

"What do you want, Cameron?" He's frustrated, dozens of barbs circle through his mind and sit on the tip of his tongue. He can easily upset her and get her to storm out, never broach this thing between them again. So then why can't he bring himself to do it? It's because he doesn't want to crush her- he promised a long time ago he never would. Besides, he'd started this thing between them, whatever this "thing" was and yeah- he does sort of feel guilty.

"I'm sorry." It doesn't sound completely sincere but he tried his best.

"What?" She's completely startled by his admission.

"You've never heard an apology before?" House grumbles.

"I just never expected to hear one from you." Cameron smiles, actually smiles at him, despite everything she's been through today. "Thank you."

"Yeah well, I must be more drunk then I thought." House quips. He breaks their eye contact and takes another sip of his drink. "You're welcome." He grumbles reluctantly not sure where his sudden attempt at niceties is coming from. He debates playing the piano again but before he can make up his mind Cameron clears her throat.

"After Kutner… We're all a little freaked out. We go home, we just wanna hug someone. We just wanna know everything's gonna be okay..." She looks over at House, meeting his intense blue eyes, trying to convey what she wants; what she's always wanted- him. She doesn't expect him to respond, but he doesn't look away, which surprises her; she almost sees compassion in his eyes. Cameron knows that Kutner's death affected House more deeply then he'd ever admit to himself.

"I can't be that guy, Cameron. I never could and I can't change now." House shakes his head. "People don't change." What he's trying to say is he can't give her the comfort she needs- he doesn't know how.

Tears glisten in her eyes and threaten to fall again. "I know." Her smile is bittersweet. She gets up to leave and House isn't sure why but he doesn't want her to go.

"Sit down, Cameron." He grabs his cane and stands up from the piano bench.

"What?" She looks over to him like he's completely lost his mind.

"I said sit." He commands and she listens; she doesn't have the energy to fight or ask why. He limps over to the couch and places the blanket thats resting on the back of it over her shoulders, hands lightly brushing her neck. Then he hands her the remote and grumbles. "Get comfortable. I'll be right back."

She nods.

He grabs her the tissues from the side table and tosses them to her, before limping into the kitchen; he can't handle seeing her cry again.

He pulls a teapot from one of the cabinets and fills it with water before placing it on the stove to heat up. Then he rummages through another cabinet to find an assortment of tea. He can't comfort her with words but after everything she's been through today he can't be a complete bastard to her. He's not just going to kick her out while she's crying and an emotional wreck; so, instead of being a complete dick, he does the best he can.

House hears the TV click on and peaks out of the kitchen to find she's put on some old noir from the 40s that is playing on AMC; She has decent taste in movies. Well, that he hadn't expected, although she's always been the puzzle he could never completely figure out.

The tea kettle whistles shrilly and he turns off the heat and grabs a mug before filling it with the scalding water. He grabs the assortment of tea bags and limps back into the living room.

Cameron looks up at him as he places the mug on the table and tosses the tea bags onto the table.

"Didn't know what you liked so I brought a bunch." He sits down next to her, close enough that their thighs brush, causing Cameron to blush.

"Thank you." She smiles, finally seeming a bit more at ease. She chooses the chamomile and dunks the bag into her mug. "I really appreciate this."

He grunts in response.

She knows he can't handle talking about emotions anymore and Cameron doesn't expect him to- she knows with House this is a gesture of comfort and compassion- the best he can manage. It makes her smile, easing the pain that she's been feeling all day. She'd expected him to let her go, nothing solved, and never talking about their day again. She picks up the mug to warm her hands and takes small sips. Despite herself, she pushes him a bit further, leaning against his shoulder. She feels him stiffen and then is completely surprised when he puts an arm around her shoulders. Cameron hums happily, feeling more content then she has in weeks- hell, months.

She sets down her tea and takes this opportunity to glance over at him, trying to figure out what he's feeling. He meets her eyes and a flicker of actual caring passes between them. To her complete surprise, he leans down and kisses her gently; it almost rivals their kiss from two years ago; its slow, searching, and has a hint of passion behind it, but neither of them deepen the kiss or push things further.

They break apart for air and her breathing has quickened, cheeks flushed, but she doesn't want sex, not now, and she thinks he can almost sense that.

He looks into her eyes searchingly.

"Cameron," He starts, making sure she's paying attention and not daydreaming about a happy domestic scenario between them. "I'm not going to date you." He says bluntly.

Cameron laughs quietly; he _would_ have to clarify something like that, more for himself then anything else- although she doesn't quite believe him. Regardless, she's not going to push him further, not tonight.

"I know, House. I wouldn't expect anything else." And she pulls him in for another sweet kiss.

* * *

 **Welp, that's the sweet sappy ending. I hope I kept House decently in character- the alternate ending will have angst and hot sex so if that's what you're hoping for I suggest you hold out for that ;)**


	5. Chapter 5

**You Almost Loved Me**

 **Notes: Alternate ending. RATED M. Hot sweaty, angsty sex. By request, enjoy!**

 **Chapter 5: Distract Me**

* * *

 _A bluesy melody drifts out of House's apartment. He's sitting at the piano, eyes closed, swaying a bit to the song. There's a half-empty glass of scotch sitting on top of the piano. Music is good therapy, it keeps his mind busy. He pauses to take a swig of his drink before gliding his hands over the keys and resuming the song._

 _Cameron stands outside of the door, listening for a few minutes. The music is soothing but her heart is hammering in her chest. She knocks, no answer. She figures he can't hear her over the piano. It's pointless knocking again, so she tries the handle. The door opens and tentatively she steps inside, closing the door behind her._

* * *

For a moment he's too focused on the music to notice her. But she clears her throat and he looks up. It's clear she's been crying. He isn't sure what to say. She stands near the door awkwardly and he doesn't make a move to get up.

He polishes off the rest of his drink before attempting conversation. "Crying over centrifuges again?" The joke is a weak attempt at breaking the tension, but she still smiles.

"No." Cameron shakes her head.

Silence weighs between them as they steal furtive glances. Cameron's eyes shimmer with unshed tears.

He wants to demand why she's there- he's tired and doesn't feel like dealing with feelings, let alone someone else's. He polishes off the rest of his drink before attempting conversation.

"What're you doing here?"

Cameron let's out a shaky sigh. "Chase was going to propose."

House doesn't say anything as he watches her break down; Cameron covers her face with her hands and sobs quietly.

House grabs his cane and limps over to her; she doesn't look up until he's right in front of her.

Questions linger on the tip of her tongue, instantly quelled by the intense look in his bright blue eyes. House pushes her back against the door and kisses her gently, tangling a hand in her hair and dropping his cane to grip her hip. She makes a small noise of protest, placing her hands on his chest to shove him back.

Well, he figures that's it. House takes a step back and looks down at the floor. He's clearly fucked up again.

Cameron hooks a finger under his chin and forces him to meet her gaze. "I don't want pity or compassion. I want to feel something other then pain." She pulls him in to a bruising kiss and he groans as her mouth hungrily devours his- tongues dancing in a duel for dominance and a low rumble escapes him as her hands run up and down his chest over the fabric of his T-shirt.

She wants a distraction and he's more then happy to oblige. Her hands tug at his shirt and he quickly removes it, enjoying the feeling of her hands on his skin. He fumbles with the buttons of her stupid vest and then has to deal with a second set on her shirt underneath.

He growls under his breath. "Think you've got enough layers?" He brushes her hair behind her shoulder to latch his warm mouth onto the skin of her neck; he sucks and bites and it elicits a breathy moan from his former employee.

Chest finally exposed, he latches his mouth onto her breast through the creamy lace fabric covering them.

She chuckles, glancing down at him. "Would you like better access?"

He nods and she assists, removing her shirts and bra just in time for him to place his mouth back over her breast and suck at nip at her exposed nipple. He grins against her skin as she arches into him and gasps; she moans pleasurably as he bites down and then soothes her nipple with his tongue before moving on to her other breast.

She tangles her hand in his thinning hair, tugging a bit before sliding her other hand down his bare chest and unbuttoning and unzipping his jeans; she grinds against his freed, growing arousal, rewarded with a low moan.

He finally pulls back from giving her breasts attention and grins. "I've been waiting five years to do that."

"Worth the wait?" She asks coyly.

"Hell yes." He doesn't even bother making a quip as he makes fast work of undoing the clasp on her slacks and yanking them down; he cups a hand over the lace of her panties to feel her warm, wet heat already soaking through them. Cameron throws her head back and moans as House's deft fingers begin circling her sensitive clit over the fabric.

"Bed." He growls.

She nods- flush and breathless.

He yanks his jeans back up and bends down to pick up his cane, gesturing down the hall to his bedroom. Cameron shimmies the rest of the way out of her pants and walks in front of him down the hall, giving him a little show.

House can't contain himself from teasing her and wolf whistles. "That ass."

Cameron looks over her shoulder and winks. "Better without the pants?"

He rolls his eyes. "Are you an idiot?"

Once in his darkened, room Cameron slides out of her last scrap of clothing and yanks back House's comforter to lay on the sheets, like she belongs there. Her confidence is an incredible turn on and his eyes rake over her naked form appreciatively.

He reaches into his jean pocket and pops two Vicodin before pulling off the rest of his clothes and joining her in bed. He moves on top of her and the second their bare skin touches for the first time they both moan in pleasure.

"God, House." She groans, licking her palm before taking his hard cock into her hand and beginning to stroke him.

"Well, I can see how you could…" But the way she pumps his cock puts an end to his pun as she nearly brings him over the edge.

"Stop." He groans, gripping her wrist and removing her hand. "You're first."

She never expected him to be the giving kind in bed, but his finger begins circling her swollen clit, alternating the pressure in delicious ways that cause her hips to rise off the bed and her stomach muscles to tighten.

He's amazed that she's so wet and ready after such a little amount of foreplay. His lips find her ear and he nips and sucks at her lobe. "Will you relax?" House whispers into her ear. "You're never going to come if you're this tense."

He places one hand gently on her stomach to indicate that she should relax her muscles; she lets out a shaky sigh and House continues his ministrations. "Good girl." He praises and it sends her over the edge, gasping and shuddering under his touch.

House gives her a second to catch her breath; satisfied with watching her breasts rise and fall with every shallow intake of air.

She smiles up at him; it's appreciative, almost sweet, and he can't take much more of it if she really wants to keep feelings out of the mix.

Once she's collected herself, Cameron's hand slides down his leg, gently tracing his scar. She doesn't say anything but looks at him knowingly and they switch positions. Soon, she's grinding against him, come from her recent orgasm coating his hard cock. A few minutes of grinding against one another and he's not sure how much longer he can last.

"Condom." House gestures to the drawer of the side table and Cameron nods, grabbing one and tearing off the wrapper before sliding it down over his hardened member.

She positions herself over him before taking him in slowly; they both groan at the sensation of him filling her completely. She starts riding him slowly, watching as his eyes darken with pleasure. She bites down on his shoulder and begins riding him harder and faster, moaning at the increasingly pleasurable sensation.

His eyes slam shut and a moan rumbles through his chest, so he begins rubbing her already sensitive clit, wanting them to reach their peak and the same time. She rides him harder and he feels her clench and flutter around him; her orgasm sends him over the edge as she shouts his name.

They stay like that for a minute, panting, until he slides out of her and removes the condom, carelessly tossing it on the floor next to the bed.

Cameron isn't sure what comes next; she isn't sure what she wants to come next. The obvious thing is to leave. She starts to get off of him, careful of his right leg.

House opens his eyes slowly, looking up at his beautiful former fellow. "Where are you going?"

"W-well, I just figured I'd…" Cameron stutters, glancing off down the hall.

House's hands grip her slight waist softly, allowing her the choice to leave, not demanding or forcing her in place. "You can stay."

Cameron meets his gaze and sees certainty, not love, not pity, just honest certainty and reassurance.

"House, I'm not sure that's a good idea."

He nods; she leans forward and kisses his cheek before heading to the bathroom to clean up.

He listens to the water run; hears her footsteps pad down the hall across the wood floor; he assumes she's gathering her clothes.

She returns in the doorway, dressed but slightly disheveled- definite sex hair. He sits up on his elbows and looks over to her- A broken woman in his doorway; maybe he's done more wrong then good.

A bittersweet smile graces her lips. "Thank-you, House."

He grunts and nods, falling back on his pillows instead of watching her walk away. He hears the click of her shoes fade down the hall and then the distinct latch of his door being shut.

House sighs and looks up at the ceiling wondering if they would ever be in the right place at the right time- or would she always be his 'almost'? - circling around him but never truly being his. He pushes away the thought and tries to succumb to alcohol and Vicodin fueled slumber.

* * *

 **Notes: Welp, there ya go. Some hot sex and angst. Just a random sexual note- I'm gay and have been with a woman for five years. My experience with men? Very limited and usually very VERY poor. So, I'm sorry in there are any discrepancies in the hetero sex.**

 **Random side note: I did my research. made sure she wasn't wearing earrings in this episode so he could actually bite her ear and tried to see whether she was wearing heels or flats- i gave up on that one. lol**

 **Thanks for reading and reviewing and look out for my next fic coming within the next week. 'All In'.**

 **Thanks again!**

 **-MAD**


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